I’ve Got Issues

Well folks, I can tell you I am really sucking at this weight loss thing this week.  I mentioned in my last few posts that I have been struggling.  I tried being easier on myself and loosening my calorie restrictions.  That would be great if I could stay within those loosened bounds!  Once again that old party animal in me came out last night, resulting in a 1,150 calorie surplus [could even be more since I had to guestimate!].  Gee whiz.  I’m not sure how to deal with that right now, so let’s move on.

I also mentioned earlier this week that I am re-reading The Spark, the SparkPeople book and doing the 28 day program.  At the end of the first week, the book indicates you should look back over your food journal and make some conclusions.  Let’s do that now!

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Monday – I ate really good on Monday!  I got 4 servings of fruits and veggies, although I was still on the low side for fiber.  How does that happen?

Tuesday – Tuesday looks good as well – 5 servings of fruits and veggies.  I was low in protein that day, but it didn’t seem to affect me.  I did have a piece of birthday cake so my day was high in sugar and fat.  No biggie since it was a special thing and it’s not like I’m going to eat cake everyday.

Wednesday – oh yeah, Wednesday.  What a rough day.  I ate a candy bar after lunch.  That’s not a normal thing for me.  Then I found my husband’s pizza after dinner.  I have some analyzing to do here!  I think I was reaching towards the candy bar and pizza because of stress.  Total emotional eating!  I was at a client on Wednesday that I was a bit worried over.  I had been getting headaches all week as well, so I told myself I needed the candy bar to help my headache.  What a lie! 

Thursday – another high calorie day.  I had more pizza for dinner [ok], but then that cake was calling me from the freezer.  Boredom eating?  I’m not sure.  Sometimes I get a craving for something I know is in the fridge or freezer.  It calls to me!  It’s not an emotion, and it’s not because I’m bored.  Hmm.

Friday – I binged on Friday night.  I was bored and lonely and went to the food for comfort.  Once again, I don’t know how to deal with situations like this.  I think books tell you to distract yourself by journaling or calling a friend.  That doesn’t work for me. 

Saturday – party girl.  [I’m shaking my head right now.]  Alcohol is a definite food trigger for me.  I won’t even be hungry, but give me a few drinks and I will eat a whole pizza.  I’m not kidding.  I swear to you right now that I am not drinking heavily next weekend.  This is the fourth weekend in a row of being a party girl.  It’s time to take a break.  If I drink at all next weekend, I have to stop after 2 drinks.  Sorry self, but you are cut off.

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This review really wasn’t an eye opener to me.  I know I have emotional issues that I try to shove down with food.  Didn’t I find myself sobbing for over an hour this week and couldn’t stop?  Oh, I didn’t mention that?  I’ve got issues folks.  I don’t know how to deal with them, but I need to find a way.  This week I am going to make a serious effort to find a new emotional outlet instead of food.  Maybe I do need to phone a friend.  Who wants to listen to my problems?  I promise I’ll listen to yours as well!

Really this PG [party girl] thing has been about emotional issues as well.  I work by myself and typically only talk to clients and my husband on a given day.  As much as I love hanging out by myself in the evenings at home, I think I need to get out more and be social.  Otherwise, situations like yesterday come up.  I was so bored and lonely all day.  My husband didn’t get home from on the road until yesterday so I hung out by myself Friday night and then most of yesterday waiting for him to get home.  Once he did come home, he proceeded to take a 2 hour nap.  I watched TV and thought about how bored I was.  After dinner when B asked me if I wanted to go to Ultimate [our fave bar], I jumped on it.  Once we were there for a while, I didn’t want to leave even though we had rented movies to watch.  It was just nice being around people and being social!  The alcohol had lowered my inhibitions, so I was chatting away to anyone who would sit next to me.  Yep, I need to get out more so I don’t need alcohol and crazy nights to be social.

So it looks like I have some work to do this week!  I need to find a new outlet for my emotions and try to be social.  I wish it was summer.  It’s so easy in the summer to call people up and go for a walk.  What do you do with friends in the winter besides go to happy hour?  Go Christmas shopping?  Go out to dinner?  Actually those are both viable options!  Friends, expect a request from me this week to hang out!

I’m going to go clean up our White Castle mess from downstairs [an after bar disaster zone] and get reading on the next chapter of The Spark.  I’m going to forget about yesterday and try to move on.  Let’s do this.

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