Hello hello! Notice anything different around here? I redesigned my blog! I was starting to really like the look of lighter colored blogs, so I decided to switch things up. I’m really liking it!
Tomorrow I’m going to come at you with a recipe. Crazy, I know. But today I’m going to get really serious with you. Just some things that have been on my mind lately.
I’ve been really down in the dumps lately. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last couple of weeks feeling sorry for myself. Life gave me lemons, and I decided to suck on them and make a sour face. I’m not saying that’s a super bad thing. Sometimes you just have to feel the bad in the sucky times and let yourself have a good cry. I just don’t think you should let negative thoughts and feelings rule your life. I’ve started to kick those “oh woe is me” thoughts and feelings to the curb. And it feels good.
Part of what got me here was Ragnar. It’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when you’re too busy running, cheering, and trying to get some sleep. I did have a few crappy moments when I was running my last leg, but that was pretty much it.
Upon coming home from Ragnar, I just didn’t want to go back into the despair I’d felt for the last week. I wanted to move toward a more positive outlook. I’m really trying to use this tough time in my life to mold and grow myself into a better person. Into the person I’ve really wanted to be, but wasn’t sure how to go about being. I’m really trying to make lemonade here!
You might be confused by what I mean by all of that. I mean that I want to explore myself. Explore my hobbies, explore how I spend my free time, explore my beliefs, explore my relationships… just explore every factor of my life. Once I’m done exploring, I want to truly live the life that is best for me. I really don’t think I’ve been doing that for a while now. Instead, I’ve gone through the motions, made plans, broke plans, and just sort of gave up and told myself I’m happy the way things are. News flash: I’m not. I want so much more!
For my first exploration, I’m going to explore my thoughts and beliefs about myself. I found this blog by Heather K. Jones yesterday. I’m not even going to embarrass myself by telling you how much blog stalking I’ve been doing since I discovered it. It’s been a lot. I am just so much in love with the messages coming from Heather. You should check her out!
Okay, so I’ve decided to explore my thoughts and beliefs about myself. What the heck does that mean?! It means those subconscious thoughts that pop into my consciousness throughout the day regarding myself. For instance, I was in the bathroom a little bit ago and looked at myself in the mirror while washing my hands. Immediately my attention was drawn to my stomach area, and I thought, “Ugh, I look so big. Can you see a roll through my shirt?”. I have so many more of those thoughts that pop in throughout the day. According to my thoughts, here is what I think and believe about myself:
- I’m fat and don’t deserve to be appreciated or loved because of it.
- None of my other accomplishments matter. The only thing that matters is that I’m fat.
- I am not as smart as my coworkers.
- I don’t work hard enough.
- I’m lazy.
- Because I can’t seem to care enough or work hard enough, I’ll never get what I want in life.
- I’m not normal. I’m so weird.
- I deserve to be miserable.
Crappy, right? I want to change these thoughts and beliefs!
Okay, so I have these beliefs, and I know I want to change them… now what? How the heck can I change a belief? I can’t just say, “I don’t believe that” and it will be true. So what do I do?
With thoughts and beliefs like these, there are only a few options to work on changing them.
1. Affirmations – find affirmations that affirm what I really want to believe. When, or even before, a negative thought or belief comes up, I can repeat one of these in my head. Here are some:
- I’m beautiful
- I deserve to love myself and be loved by others
- I am an intelligent person
- I work at my own pace
- I care about my life
- I am unique
- I choose to feel differently
- I choose to find happiness
- I deserve to be happy
2. Meditation – this is something that has been hard for me in the past. I find some meditation just a little woo-woo. On the other hand, I love the quiet and calm meditation can bring in the middle of a chaotic day. When I’m feeling like my thoughts are especially loud, I want to reach towards meditation.
3. Practicing gratitude and thankfulness – seeing all that you have just opens your heart for more. I used to list 5 things I was thankful for before I went to bed. I want to start that practice again! Instead of stressing or being mindless in the shower, I think I can add a little time to practice gratitude and thankfulness. That’d be a great way to start the day as well!
This was such a good practice for me. I honestly didn’t think about this post ahead of time and just wrote what came to mind. I didn’t even realize I had some of those thoughts and beliefs! You should try it as well. You might also be surprised about what you think and believe about yourself.
Yep, definitely ready for a more light-hearted recipe post!